One of those days...

Ever had one of those days? I’ve just had two weeks worth. The kettle is boiling. The tsunami is rising. And we all know who’s going to be crushed in its wake.

Where do I begin? I’ve volunteered to be the coach for Elliot’s hockey team and I know a fraction more about rocket science than I do about hockey. I wasn’t able to work in the school holidays so now have two weeks of pressure to release at the same time I’m in parallel studying via Google how to play hockey. My children who are never ill have simultaneously developed throat infections so sleeping is secondary to keeping an ear out for them at night. They’re not so sick though that they can’t yell out in the middle of the night to remind me I need to buy a new soda stream flavour because they’ve just remembered they’ve run out. Yes my dears, I’ll just add that to my "to do" list because that will give me something to do tomorrow. Shall I peel some grapes to put in your lunch boxes in the morning too before I go out to buy you a new flavour? My beautiful little Molly has just had an operation to remove all her womanly bits so now I not only have to watch Elliot like a hawk to make sure he doesn’t bust her gut by picking her up inappropriately, I have to make sure she doesn’t injure herself as an aside by banging into things because she has a bloody great big cone on her head. 

I’ve had to prepare our company financials for year end. I have discrepancies. I’ve been responsible for selling our car, which means entertaining a plethora of visitors to view and critique it. “When did it last have the coils changed? When did it last have it’s transmission checked?” What? Um. Dunno. Just give me some money and take it away please. In fact, I’m getting to the point where I’ll give you some money to take it away, please! Whenever I do snatch a moment, I seem to spend it wiping urine off the far left corner and wall of the communal toilet, and wiping toothpaste off the mirror in the bathroom. How does that happen? I should install some security cameras to establish the facts because what I’m told and what actually occurs are completely different versions of the truth. 

My husband has grown a moustache surrounded with random facial stubble and has made it abundantly clear that my input on its growth is null and void. Message received. I’m pretty confident he thinks my less-than-subtle suggestions for him to be clean shaven are an attempt to emasculate him. I don’t think he gets that I quite simply don’t like the sensation of kissing sandpaper. If I did, I’d spend more time in the garage with him as I could entertain myself while he was doing his thing. Then again he won’t be in the garage this weekend because it’s Mother’s Day and he always goes motorbike riding with his friends on Mother’s Day. I'm still haunted by my very first Mother's Day when I asked why it wasn't acknowledged to which came the reply, "Well, you're not my Mother." Hmm. I don’t have good feelings about it, as you can appreciate. That reminds me, I must book myself in for a facial on Father's Day. 

I haven’t had a period for nearly 3 months, so have been in a state of PMT for approximately 9 weeks. I think we all know that doesn’t bode for good relations and won't end well. My friend suggested I was perhaps in a state of pre-menopause. God help my family if this is a sign of things to come. Please may it be swift and over as soon as possible. It’s a shame one can’t just flick a switch when one decides they don’t want to have any more children and that just be the end of it. 

My head hasn’t got any space left in it. Then school begins again. Now I have to assist with helping one of my children build a volcano. Fabulous. I have so much time and energy to assist with building a volcano. If I could invest as much time and energy assisting with building a volcano as I do cleaning urine off the toilet floor and toothpaste off the mirror, we’d have the most spectacular volcano the school has ever seen! We’d be superstars! Probably next week’s homework will be to write a debrief reflecting on what we ‘achieved’ building a volcano. I’ll have some choice words to contribute to that I’m sure. 

Anyway. I’ve ranted on enough, just had to get that out of my head. Many of my friends who I share this Mum’s The Word with have often said it’s healthy to be honest and to speak the truth because it makes them feel ‘normal.’ I’m sure that all of you can sympathise with the nature of events, such as these, that can snowball towards driving one to madness and a sense of losing oneself, as I have done this past couple of weeks. 

That’s not the end of my story though. Some other things have happened this week that go far beyond the trivia that inspired me to start writing this Mum’s The Word in the first place. Someone I know, who I went to school with when I was a little girl died from cancer. She was diagnosed only a few months ago, and now she’s gone. My boss at work was in a near fatal car accident and has a gruelling, painstakingly slow road ahead to recovery. Both of them have families who love them dearly and are suffering an indeterminably greater amount of stress and grief than I’ve had to endure because of my own (in hindsight) silly little problems. 

When things like that happen, it wraps everything into perspective. The world shifts on its axis and suddenly nothing in life is linear. Nothing can be taken for granted. Suddenly I love that I’ve volunteered to be a hockey coach, because it will bring joy to a lot of children. Learning about how to play hockey so I can teach them is more important than work. And who cares if if there is urine in the bathroom and toothpaste on the mirror, really? That’s life. If my husband wants to grow a moustache and have facial stubble, so be it. I will love him anyway. Even if he does go riding on Mother’s Day. If I am in pre-menopause, then bring it on. At least I’m alive to be experiencing it, it’s better than the alternative. And the volcano project? Well, it gives me an opportunity to spend time with my child, and at the end of the day, nothing is more important than that. LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE.

Mum’s the Word: